Serendipity isn’t random
Serendipity: the ability to find valuable or agreeable things not sought for
—Merriam-Webster
The term “serendipity” is generally associated with blind luck or accident. Merriam-Webster’s definition would imply that anything serendipitous happens without a conscious effort, but according to researcher Stephann Makri, serendipity is the result of highly engaged individuals working on specific problems. Bob Doto’s article “Serendipity and the Zettelkasten” cleanly breaks down Makri’s research in a practical manner in relation to the Zettelkasten system; Doto lays out Makri’s process model for serendipity into the following distinct stages:
- Making a connection
- Projecting value regarding the connection
- Exploiting the connection
- Recognizing a valuable outcome as a result of exploitation
- Reflecting on the origin of the outcome
- Considering the outcome as serendipitous
This research was targeted at researchers and creatives, but it reaches far beyond intellectual activity, into all aspects of our lives. Take for example (romantic) relationships. Are they luck? What goes into forming these relationships, and how are some people more successful than others? I had these thoughts after listening to a talk by Andrew Kelley (creator of the Zig programming language) where he spoke about his experience being raised by conservative Christian parents, and entering the dating scene where he “had so, so much to learn and to unlearn about the world in order to date comfortably and confidently”. What helped him was a piece of advice he heard from a pick up artist.
He said that you shouldn’t focus on the outcome of “the pick up”. The actual move, he said, is to work on being attractive, in general, to everybody. Platonic friends included. You should try to make everyone want to be around you, because you genuinely care about them. Listen intently to what they say. Make them laugh. You offer people whom you interact with meaningful experiences that make them remember you and invite you to future events. You put effort in to make everyone have a good time. By doing this, you create more circumstances where there is a chance for romance to spark.
As humorous as it may seem, we can map out the bullet points from earlier to the stages of finding a relationship.
- Making a connection(s): Broaden your surface area. Without connections to build off, there is no chance for a relationship to form.
- Projecting value regarding the connection(s): Assess whether there is room for a relationship to grow.
- Exploiting the connection: Use your connection to pursue a relationship.
- Recognizing a valuable outcome as a result of exploitation: Did you gain by pursuing a relationship?
- Reflecting on the origin of the outcome: Reflect on how the relationship progressed, and what the actions taken were to form it.
- Considering the outcome as serendipitous: Congratulations! You are now in a successful relationship. Or, maybe you aren’t, and you feel that was equally as serendipitous as having found a relationship.
What does all this mean? Serendipity isn’t random, it is a combination of chance and agency. Without effort, there will be nothing to capitalize on. This concept is not original; there are many terms for it. I appreciate the surface area analogy: With no connections, it is unlikely that you will find a relationship, but by increasing your surface area, you increase the chance of serendipity. Serendipity is everywhere, and it is in your hands to make the most of it.